Today is Day 3 of getting back on More Fit, Less Fat plan. I woke up at 5:30am, got out of the house a little before 6am, and did my usual route around the Panhandle. I've been jogging two laps around the park, which is about three miles, and walking up there and back. So, I walk/jog/run a total of about four miles each morning. I'm trying to get this back up to five, six, seven, eight, nine miles. I was there before, and I can get there again. But, no pressure. It's just me now trying to get myself there and beyond (Winnie moves to Providence in a few weeks). I'm going to take it as slowly as I need while still pushing myself to be faster and to be able to run longer distances.
I'm seeing improvement already. I didn't once feel the slightest urge to vomit today (hurrah!). I was able to run longer without needing to stop. My body felt right and not sluggish. Once I get over that first 3/4 mile, the running gets a little easier and a little more comfortable. I have to remind myself that my body is just slow at warming up and not feel guilty for needing to take a walking break.
I also came home afterward to do some work with my little weights and strength building. I was more sweaty than I remember being for a while, with sweat just dripping off my face. I still hate crunches.
Also, in my more concerted effort to better myself, especially physically, I told Alvin I would play volleyball with the work team that meets every Tuesday night and plays with other non-profits. The season starts next week, but I might not make it for most of the first half since I signed up for a French class that meets Tuesday and Thursday nights.
The last time I remember playing volleyball was in the 6th grade. I remember playing in the hot sun and my feet burning from the toasty asphalt. I hope I made that clear enough to Alvin for him to understand that I will most likely be the worst player on the court. My height and reach won't help if I can't coordinate my hand with my eye and hit a ball. I also need to get over my fear of getting whacked in the back of my head with a ball.
I was chatting with Billy, who has been playing for a while now, about my concerns. He was understanding while telling me I just need to get over it all. He reminded me that I can't be afraid of being bad and feeling like a failure, and that it will take time and practice to get better. I can't get good without being horrible at first. This feeling of wanting to be good (or at least not being a disaster) at everything instantly isn't just isolated to volleyball but I've been noticing it in so many other aspects of my life. I'm hoping that this volleyball challenge will help me think about the other parts of my life that can be worked on, and that I can't be afraid of getting hurt, diving in headlong, getting hit in the head.
Also, volleyball will give me a legitimate excuse for being bruised.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Post-Injury
Today, I woke up at 5:39am to go for a run, my first run in about two weeks. My body is almost healed from my fall off my bike a few weeks ago. The bruises have been fading, my right side is no longer sore, and the scab on my left knee fell off to reveal pink, wet skin. It's still gross, but it doesn't hurt as much when I bend my knee or put weight on it.
So, I woke up, put on my running gear, and headed out the door. I started by running up the hill of Oak Street and almost made it to the end of the block. Then, I did my usual routine around the Panhandle. I was doing well at first. Then, after a quick sprint to make it across Masonic, I had to stop and cough and felt like vomiting but, thankfully, didn't. I don't think I was getting enough air in my lungs. I have felt this urge to throw up before, usually after not running for a while and getting back into it. It's my body trying to adjust again.
I had to stop and walk more often than I would have liked. But, at times, I felt good, like my body was in its running groove. I even passed another jogger, something that rarely happens.
It has always been really difficult to start running again after a brief hiatus. I feel like I make so excuses for not running: my ankle hurts, I'm traveling, it's raining, my knee hurts, I'm too tired. And, after each absence from running, I feel like it's so easy to just continue not running. If I don't wake up to run, I won't feel my body ache, I won't feel like throwing up, I won't feel lame for being passed by all the other runners. I also feel like every so often, I'll try to re-motivate myself, saying that this will be the time I get back to my routine, that I will run and exercise more regularly, that I will work on making my stomach and thighs less soft.
Then, there are times when I remember how nice it is to wake up and do my loops around the Panhandle. This morning, fog was still hanging real low and I couldn't see into the park. It was gray and lovely. The street lamps glowed a mellow orange. I saw some familiar faces making their way around the park. It was just me chugging along with not more than my music and the random thoughts that float through my head. I'm going to wake up again tomorrow at 5:30 in the morning and do it all again.
Today, The New York Times had an article about "Better Running Through Walking." I feel less lame for walking.
So, I woke up, put on my running gear, and headed out the door. I started by running up the hill of Oak Street and almost made it to the end of the block. Then, I did my usual routine around the Panhandle. I was doing well at first. Then, after a quick sprint to make it across Masonic, I had to stop and cough and felt like vomiting but, thankfully, didn't. I don't think I was getting enough air in my lungs. I have felt this urge to throw up before, usually after not running for a while and getting back into it. It's my body trying to adjust again.
I had to stop and walk more often than I would have liked. But, at times, I felt good, like my body was in its running groove. I even passed another jogger, something that rarely happens.
It has always been really difficult to start running again after a brief hiatus. I feel like I make so excuses for not running: my ankle hurts, I'm traveling, it's raining, my knee hurts, I'm too tired. And, after each absence from running, I feel like it's so easy to just continue not running. If I don't wake up to run, I won't feel my body ache, I won't feel like throwing up, I won't feel lame for being passed by all the other runners. I also feel like every so often, I'll try to re-motivate myself, saying that this will be the time I get back to my routine, that I will run and exercise more regularly, that I will work on making my stomach and thighs less soft.
Then, there are times when I remember how nice it is to wake up and do my loops around the Panhandle. This morning, fog was still hanging real low and I couldn't see into the park. It was gray and lovely. The street lamps glowed a mellow orange. I saw some familiar faces making their way around the park. It was just me chugging along with not more than my music and the random thoughts that float through my head. I'm going to wake up again tomorrow at 5:30 in the morning and do it all again.
Today, The New York Times had an article about "Better Running Through Walking." I feel less lame for walking.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Bike Injury
One of my recent new goals is to be comfortable riding my bike in the city. Like any good suburban kid, I know how to ride a bike. But, riding on the sidewalk of suburban Los Angeles is different than riding on the hilly, crowded streets of San Francisco. So, not too long ago, I pulled my bike out from the basement, dusted it off, pumped up the tires, and asked Eleanor to help me with my goal.
I knew Eleanor would be perfect for this. She bikes everywhere and is smart about it. She is super patient and would be understanding of all my neurotic fears. And, she's just totally fun and incredibly sweet.
Two Sundays ago, she came by my house with her bike and we went for a ride, after going to Box Dog Bikes to get my seat adjusted first. We headed south to the Dogpatch, with the intention of stopping by Piccino. But, we never made it there. Instead, we went to one of the parking lots of AT&T Park, where I practiced using my gears (and we discovered that my front gears weren't shifting) and starting and stopping gracefully. We then rode our bikes back to the Mission, where I rewarded myself with ice cream from Bi-Rite Creamery. Eleanor escorted me all the home too.
Last Sunday, I went for a bike ride with Ian and his friends. I was nervous about not being able to keep with them and not being able to bike up hills. But, I managed okay through Golden Gate Park and walked my bike up some hills that were too steep for my legs.
I thought I was doing okay, until I fell off my bike in the Presidio. I didn't even get hit by anything to make a good story. I didn't have to dodge a wild animal either. I just fell off. I skinned my left knee, scraped my left hand, and bruised my right side. Ian asked if I wanted to keep going. There was nothing I could do, really, other than keep going. I took a moment to catch my breath then got back to pedaling. It hurt a little and Ian rubbed chewed up eucalyptus leaves on my cuts. I was bound to get hurt at some point, and, though I would rather not have fallen and scraped up my body, it wasn't too bad. We kept going to Crissy Field, North Beach, Chinatown, downtown, and up Market toward home. We must have gone about 15 miles. Other than falling and having to walk up hills, I think I did pretty great for my third time on a bike in years.
I'm still feeling the pain of my fall though. The right side of my body is sore and it hurts to bend my left knee. I went to visit the school nurse yesterday to check out my knee, which was looking red and swollen. She said it wasn't infected, that it was actually healing well, and that it was just a little inflamed. She stuck a band-aid on my knee.
And, since my body is achy and it hurts to bend my knee, I haven't been running this week, which is disappointing since I was doing well in keeping up with my morning routine.
I knew Eleanor would be perfect for this. She bikes everywhere and is smart about it. She is super patient and would be understanding of all my neurotic fears. And, she's just totally fun and incredibly sweet.
Two Sundays ago, she came by my house with her bike and we went for a ride, after going to Box Dog Bikes to get my seat adjusted first. We headed south to the Dogpatch, with the intention of stopping by Piccino. But, we never made it there. Instead, we went to one of the parking lots of AT&T Park, where I practiced using my gears (and we discovered that my front gears weren't shifting) and starting and stopping gracefully. We then rode our bikes back to the Mission, where I rewarded myself with ice cream from Bi-Rite Creamery. Eleanor escorted me all the home too.
Last Sunday, I went for a bike ride with Ian and his friends. I was nervous about not being able to keep with them and not being able to bike up hills. But, I managed okay through Golden Gate Park and walked my bike up some hills that were too steep for my legs.
I thought I was doing okay, until I fell off my bike in the Presidio. I didn't even get hit by anything to make a good story. I didn't have to dodge a wild animal either. I just fell off. I skinned my left knee, scraped my left hand, and bruised my right side. Ian asked if I wanted to keep going. There was nothing I could do, really, other than keep going. I took a moment to catch my breath then got back to pedaling. It hurt a little and Ian rubbed chewed up eucalyptus leaves on my cuts. I was bound to get hurt at some point, and, though I would rather not have fallen and scraped up my body, it wasn't too bad. We kept going to Crissy Field, North Beach, Chinatown, downtown, and up Market toward home. We must have gone about 15 miles. Other than falling and having to walk up hills, I think I did pretty great for my third time on a bike in years.
I'm still feeling the pain of my fall though. The right side of my body is sore and it hurts to bend my left knee. I went to visit the school nurse yesterday to check out my knee, which was looking red and swollen. She said it wasn't infected, that it was actually healing well, and that it was just a little inflamed. She stuck a band-aid on my knee.
And, since my body is achy and it hurts to bend my knee, I haven't been running this week, which is disappointing since I was doing well in keeping up with my morning routine.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Liveright Run
Today was the Liveright 5K run/walk for liver cancer and hepatitis B awareness that Winnie asked me and other friends and family members to sign up for. I had been a little nervous about running it, since I have been having horrible runs lately, where I can barely manage to get my feet moving and my limbs all feel uncoordinated. Though I've been running regularly again (now that the sun is up when I get up) and have been doing my yoga and strength training again (since Scott has been away), I still felt nervous. But, despite the rain and cold, we had a good morning of exercise together.
Billy came to pick me up earlier than I had hoped. I opened the door for him still wearing my pajamas and with my toothbrush in my mouth. After I put on my running clothes and had some toast with peanut butter, we headed out to Golden Gate Park, where the event was being held. We signed in, put on our numbers, hung out with Winnie's family, and waited for the race to start. Winnie, Billy, Winnie's friend Tim, and I would be running the race together. The other family members would go at their own pace, and the two younger ones would walk with Uncle Norm.
There were other people there who looked like real runners: short shorts, sweat bands, well-developed calf muscles. They were doing stretches and warm-up exercises. I kinda moved my arms and legs around.
Before the official start, Fiona Ma said some words and then some other lady did too. Then, another woman took the stage to get the whole crowd warmed up. We were told to move our arms, march in place, lunge to the side, lunge to the other side, swivel our hips. We tried to follow along and not hit each other. I tried not to think of middle school P.E. class. I reminded Winnie that we would be running slowly. It started to rain.
Then, it was time to make it to the start line. We, somehow, made it to the front of the line. I stood next to an older man in true racing gear and who had the stance of a racer at the starting gates. I looked nothing like him. We were told the route of the course, but no one in our group paid attention. Our best bet would be to just follow everyone else, which we did. The cow bell rang, the flag was waved, and we were off, across a muddy, lumpy, grassy field (we felt like we were at school recess and just running to run, and trying to be careful not to get our feet caught in a hole), and then up a muddy, steep hill (I struggled a little bit, trying not to fall). Seeing hundreds of people running across this field in the rain made me happy and energized.
We made it up to a dirt path, where I tried not to twist my ankle on loose rocks. The running felt good. I could feel my form feeling right. My breathing was easy. Winnie told me that we were not running slowly. We turned up another path and run through trees. We were running behind a woman pushing a stroller for two. She was impressive. She yelled at a stupid girl who was wearing headphones and couldn't hear the Stroller Woman shout at her to move right as she wanted to pass. We passed the Stroller Woman at a hill, but she then passed us at the Polo Field, which smelled of manure. The rain was falling steadily and it seemed to take forever to get around the Polo Field. I was getting tired. But, we made it around the field.
Then, I got a cramp on my side. The four of us were good at keeping our little running pack together. It seemed as if we were pretty evenly matched, though I feel like Tim, who had run a marathon before, might have been taking it easy. But, I had to stop and walk. Winnie saw me slow and she started to slow down too, but she said no, she couldn't stop, which I was glad for. After just a bit, I got running again, caught up with them, and was able to lead the group again just as we were about to near the end. It's strange how my body will hurt for a little bit and feel all wrong, only to feel better than ever not too long after.
We ran across the finish line together with arms linked and smiles on our faces. Our time was about 30 minutes. Not a great time but not bad either. We finished together, which was the important part. After hanging around for a bit in the rain and waiting for the rest of the family to finish, we went back to my house to get cleaned up and then to Chinatown for dim sum. I would say the morning was a success.
Billy came to pick me up earlier than I had hoped. I opened the door for him still wearing my pajamas and with my toothbrush in my mouth. After I put on my running clothes and had some toast with peanut butter, we headed out to Golden Gate Park, where the event was being held. We signed in, put on our numbers, hung out with Winnie's family, and waited for the race to start. Winnie, Billy, Winnie's friend Tim, and I would be running the race together. The other family members would go at their own pace, and the two younger ones would walk with Uncle Norm.
There were other people there who looked like real runners: short shorts, sweat bands, well-developed calf muscles. They were doing stretches and warm-up exercises. I kinda moved my arms and legs around.
Before the official start, Fiona Ma said some words and then some other lady did too. Then, another woman took the stage to get the whole crowd warmed up. We were told to move our arms, march in place, lunge to the side, lunge to the other side, swivel our hips. We tried to follow along and not hit each other. I tried not to think of middle school P.E. class. I reminded Winnie that we would be running slowly. It started to rain.
Then, it was time to make it to the start line. We, somehow, made it to the front of the line. I stood next to an older man in true racing gear and who had the stance of a racer at the starting gates. I looked nothing like him. We were told the route of the course, but no one in our group paid attention. Our best bet would be to just follow everyone else, which we did. The cow bell rang, the flag was waved, and we were off, across a muddy, lumpy, grassy field (we felt like we were at school recess and just running to run, and trying to be careful not to get our feet caught in a hole), and then up a muddy, steep hill (I struggled a little bit, trying not to fall). Seeing hundreds of people running across this field in the rain made me happy and energized.
We made it up to a dirt path, where I tried not to twist my ankle on loose rocks. The running felt good. I could feel my form feeling right. My breathing was easy. Winnie told me that we were not running slowly. We turned up another path and run through trees. We were running behind a woman pushing a stroller for two. She was impressive. She yelled at a stupid girl who was wearing headphones and couldn't hear the Stroller Woman shout at her to move right as she wanted to pass. We passed the Stroller Woman at a hill, but she then passed us at the Polo Field, which smelled of manure. The rain was falling steadily and it seemed to take forever to get around the Polo Field. I was getting tired. But, we made it around the field.
Then, I got a cramp on my side. The four of us were good at keeping our little running pack together. It seemed as if we were pretty evenly matched, though I feel like Tim, who had run a marathon before, might have been taking it easy. But, I had to stop and walk. Winnie saw me slow and she started to slow down too, but she said no, she couldn't stop, which I was glad for. After just a bit, I got running again, caught up with them, and was able to lead the group again just as we were about to near the end. It's strange how my body will hurt for a little bit and feel all wrong, only to feel better than ever not too long after.
We ran across the finish line together with arms linked and smiles on our faces. Our time was about 30 minutes. Not a great time but not bad either. We finished together, which was the important part. After hanging around for a bit in the rain and waiting for the rest of the family to finish, we went back to my house to get cleaned up and then to Chinatown for dim sum. I would say the morning was a success.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Pressure
I went running this morning. It sucked. I sucked. My body just felt wrong. Everything felt forced. And, at one point, I felt like gagging. It was not pleasant.
I have been making too many excuses: it's too cold, it's too dark, it's too wet, I'm traveling, I'm not sleeping enough, I'm too tired, on and on and on. But, this week is a new week, and I will get back on track with my running routine, especially since I told Winnie that I would run the 5K event for liver health with her in about two weeks. (I need to remember to register for the race tomorrow.) She said that all her other friends and family members could and would walk the event, but that she was going to run it and that she was going to run it with me.
Sure, I've run 3.1 miles before. I've run more than that before. She and I have run more than that together before. But, after feeling so out of it and so off lately, I'm nervous that I won't be able to make it and that I'll wuss out and walk.
So, I have about two weeks to make running 3 miles feel like a breeze again. I was able to do it before and I will be able to do it again. And, it will start with tomorrow morning. I'll be up at 5:30am (even if it is dark), go for my morning run, and do some strength training and stretching when I get home. No wussing out.
I have been making too many excuses: it's too cold, it's too dark, it's too wet, I'm traveling, I'm not sleeping enough, I'm too tired, on and on and on. But, this week is a new week, and I will get back on track with my running routine, especially since I told Winnie that I would run the 5K event for liver health with her in about two weeks. (I need to remember to register for the race tomorrow.) She said that all her other friends and family members could and would walk the event, but that she was going to run it and that she was going to run it with me.
Sure, I've run 3.1 miles before. I've run more than that before. She and I have run more than that together before. But, after feeling so out of it and so off lately, I'm nervous that I won't be able to make it and that I'll wuss out and walk.
So, I have about two weeks to make running 3 miles feel like a breeze again. I was able to do it before and I will be able to do it again. And, it will start with tomorrow morning. I'll be up at 5:30am (even if it is dark), go for my morning run, and do some strength training and stretching when I get home. No wussing out.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Boston
I've been in Boston for the past several days. When I emailed Ryan that I was coming, he told to pack my running shoes since the weather was getting nice and that we could run together. I emailed him back, telling him that weather.com said the forecast would be about 40 degrees when I got here and that was not nice. So, instead of packing my running gear, I packed sweaters. And, now, I'm sitting here regretting those sweaters.
The weather hasn't been too bad, though it has been gray and a little drizzly, but nothing too extreme. Today, on my walk to Harvard Medical School to meet Anosheh and Luis for lunch, I crossed a river with a lovely path along it where a man was jogging. That could have been me.
When I get back to San Francisco, I will have gone about two weeks without really running or exercising. And, I'm feeling guilty about it, especially since I know how even harder it will be to start up a regular routine and feel like I'm not worn out after not running for such an extended period of time. I feel like my tummy is getting softer and my arms are geting flabbier, though I know that probably not too much has changed in my body over the past two weeks.
But, Winnie asked me if I want to run a 5K with her at the beginning of May. The race will be a good motivator and it's close enough where I'll have to not be lazy about exercising and running. So, I think I'll say yes. I can run 3.1 miles. I'll need to work on being able to run that faster though.
The weather hasn't been too bad, though it has been gray and a little drizzly, but nothing too extreme. Today, on my walk to Harvard Medical School to meet Anosheh and Luis for lunch, I crossed a river with a lovely path along it where a man was jogging. That could have been me.
When I get back to San Francisco, I will have gone about two weeks without really running or exercising. And, I'm feeling guilty about it, especially since I know how even harder it will be to start up a regular routine and feel like I'm not worn out after not running for such an extended period of time. I feel like my tummy is getting softer and my arms are geting flabbier, though I know that probably not too much has changed in my body over the past two weeks.
But, Winnie asked me if I want to run a 5K with her at the beginning of May. The race will be a good motivator and it's close enough where I'll have to not be lazy about exercising and running. So, I think I'll say yes. I can run 3.1 miles. I'll need to work on being able to run that faster though.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Evening
I went for a run with Winnie around the Panhandle after work today. It was the first time I ran in over a week. And, it was the first time I ran in the evening in years. When I was living in Berkeley, I would run in the evenings all the time. I liked running just as the sun was starting to set. I ran through the quiet, flat streets of Elmwood. As I passed the homes, I would peek inside to see families gathering for dinner. I could hear music flowing out on to the streets. In the cooler evenings, I could smell fires burning in fireplaces.
I don't know why I stopped running at nights. I think I just stopped running all together once I started working. Spending hours trying to get middle school students to do their homework and then hosting workshops in the evenings drained all my energy. Then, after riding BART home to Berkeley exhausted and, on some days, on the verge of tears, I just didn't have the energy or the time to go for a run.
But, now, it's different. Work has been much less stressful, and I have grown to understand that work is not and should not be all-consuming.
Now, maybe I need to start the habit of running in the evenings again, since I have been having difficulty getting out of bed in the morning ever since Daylight Savings Time started and it's pitch black when the alarm rings. Even with my motto of "Don't think, just go," I have been hitting snooze a few too many times.
So, Winnie was the pressure I needed to get out of my running funk. We originally planned to run Thursday after work, but she also asked if I wanted to run today. With nothing else planned for the evening and knowing that I wouldn't run on my own, I agreed. She had her running gear in her car and would stop by my house after work.
We made our way to the Panhandle, put on our iPods, and started along side-by-side. The first loop around went okay. Other than trying to dodge other joggers, baby strollers, and cyclists coming from both directions, I was doing fine. I thought I was actually keeping up a good pace, and we even passed people. The second loop was more of a struggle. I kept looking over at Winnie. She kept bouncing along, so I had to keep going too. We were able to keep up with the boys wearing Army t-shirts though. At some point the three boys became two boys, which made us feel happy that we were able to outrun at least one of the Army Boys.
During the fourth loop, I just stopped. We were going up the slightest of inclines and my legs were too tired. Winnie stopped too and we decided to walk the rest of the loop and back to my house. I think we ran for about 45 minutes, which wasn't too bad.
I don't know how much I'll like keeping up this evening run thing though. Trying to avoid getting hit by packs of speeding cyclists wasn't fun. And, there were many more people out than when I usually run in the mornings, which wasn't all that fun trying to dodge them too. But, more importantly, evening runs will throw off my schedule. If I want to see friends after work, I can't. It pushes my dinner time back, which will push back my bed time. Plus, if I shower at night and don't want to shower again in the morning, it'll mess up my hair routine. We'll see how it goes again Thursday.
I don't know why I stopped running at nights. I think I just stopped running all together once I started working. Spending hours trying to get middle school students to do their homework and then hosting workshops in the evenings drained all my energy. Then, after riding BART home to Berkeley exhausted and, on some days, on the verge of tears, I just didn't have the energy or the time to go for a run.
But, now, it's different. Work has been much less stressful, and I have grown to understand that work is not and should not be all-consuming.
Now, maybe I need to start the habit of running in the evenings again, since I have been having difficulty getting out of bed in the morning ever since Daylight Savings Time started and it's pitch black when the alarm rings. Even with my motto of "Don't think, just go," I have been hitting snooze a few too many times.
So, Winnie was the pressure I needed to get out of my running funk. We originally planned to run Thursday after work, but she also asked if I wanted to run today. With nothing else planned for the evening and knowing that I wouldn't run on my own, I agreed. She had her running gear in her car and would stop by my house after work.
We made our way to the Panhandle, put on our iPods, and started along side-by-side. The first loop around went okay. Other than trying to dodge other joggers, baby strollers, and cyclists coming from both directions, I was doing fine. I thought I was actually keeping up a good pace, and we even passed people. The second loop was more of a struggle. I kept looking over at Winnie. She kept bouncing along, so I had to keep going too. We were able to keep up with the boys wearing Army t-shirts though. At some point the three boys became two boys, which made us feel happy that we were able to outrun at least one of the Army Boys.
During the fourth loop, I just stopped. We were going up the slightest of inclines and my legs were too tired. Winnie stopped too and we decided to walk the rest of the loop and back to my house. I think we ran for about 45 minutes, which wasn't too bad.
I don't know how much I'll like keeping up this evening run thing though. Trying to avoid getting hit by packs of speeding cyclists wasn't fun. And, there were many more people out than when I usually run in the mornings, which wasn't all that fun trying to dodge them too. But, more importantly, evening runs will throw off my schedule. If I want to see friends after work, I can't. It pushes my dinner time back, which will push back my bed time. Plus, if I shower at night and don't want to shower again in the morning, it'll mess up my hair routine. We'll see how it goes again Thursday.
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