Evening

I went for a run with Winnie around the Panhandle after work today. It was the first time I ran in over a week. And, it was the first time I ran in the evening in years. When I was living in Berkeley, I would run in the evenings all the time. I liked running just as the sun was starting to set. I ran through the quiet, flat streets of Elmwood. As I passed the homes, I would peek inside to see families gathering for dinner. I could hear music flowing out on to the streets. In the cooler evenings, I could smell fires burning in fireplaces.

I don't know why I stopped running at nights. I think I just stopped running all together once I started working. Spending hours trying to get middle school students to do their homework and then hosting workshops in the evenings drained all my energy. Then, after riding BART home to Berkeley exhausted and, on some days, on the verge of tears, I just didn't have the energy or the time to go for a run.

But, now, it's different. Work has been much less stressful, and I have grown to understand that work is not and should not be all-consuming.

Now, maybe I need to start the habit of running in the evenings again, since I have been having difficulty getting out of bed in the morning ever since Daylight Savings Time started and it's pitch black when the alarm rings. Even with my motto of "Don't think, just go," I have been hitting snooze a few too many times.

So, Winnie was the pressure I needed to get out of my running funk. We originally planned to run Thursday after work, but she also asked if I wanted to run today. With nothing else planned for the evening and knowing that I wouldn't run on my own, I agreed. She had her running gear in her car and would stop by my house after work.

We made our way to the Panhandle, put on our iPods, and started along side-by-side. The first loop around went okay. Other than trying to dodge other joggers, baby strollers, and cyclists coming from both directions, I was doing fine. I thought I was actually keeping up a good pace, and we even passed people. The second loop was more of a struggle. I kept looking over at Winnie. She kept bouncing along, so I had to keep going too. We were able to keep up with the boys wearing Army t-shirts though. At some point the three boys became two boys, which made us feel happy that we were able to outrun at least one of the Army Boys.

During the fourth loop, I just stopped. We were going up the slightest of inclines and my legs were too tired. Winnie stopped too and we decided to walk the rest of the loop and back to my house. I think we ran for about 45 minutes, which wasn't too bad.

I don't know how much I'll like keeping up this evening run thing though. Trying to avoid getting hit by packs of speeding cyclists wasn't fun. And, there were many more people out than when I usually run in the mornings, which wasn't all that fun trying to dodge them too. But, more importantly, evening runs will throw off my schedule. If I want to see friends after work, I can't. It pushes my dinner time back, which will push back my bed time. Plus, if I shower at night and don't want to shower again in the morning, it'll mess up my hair routine. We'll see how it goes again Thursday.

My New Friend

No one talks to me as I run, and I'm glad of it. As I run, I focus on going forward, motivating myself to keep the feet moving right-left-right-left, making sure my form is good, and checking to ensure my breathing is even and steady. Sometimes, many times actually, I'll sing to myself. Occasionally, I'll smile at the people who pass me, especially the ones who I've passed several times on our loops. I might say excuse me or mumble a good morning, but that's about it.

So, when I was stopped to have a conversation this morning, I was a little thrown off. I was walking through the Panhandle on my way back home when it happened. The man who takes care of the park started saying stuff to me. I've seen him plenty of times before. Sometimes, I'll give a smile of acknowledgment. But, never before have we talked. So, he was saying stuff to me but I couldn't really hear since I still had my headphones on. When I realized that he was going to keep talking to me, I took them off and walked over to him.

Park Man: I see you running all the time. Maybe for the last six months.
Me: Yeah, I've been running for a while now. I'm sure you must see the same people over and over again.
PM: Yes. Some people run to the ocean. Do you run to the ocean?
Me: No, but last week, I ran to 31st. I just need to run for another ten blocks to get to the ocean.
PM: What is your name?
Me: I'm Susan. And you?
PM: Guillermo.
Me: Nice to meet you, Guillermo.
Guillermo: Do you live nearby?
Me: Sorta. I live over there. [I wave my arm eastward.]
G: Are you Norse?
[In my head, I am wondering why he would think I'm Norse. Maybe he's Norse and thinks we have that in common. But, he doesn't look Norse, and I don't look Norse. His name is Guillermo; that does not sound Norse either. Maybe he thinks because I'm so tall I must be Norse. I was thoroughly confused.]
Me: Um, no. I'm Chinese.
G: No, are you nurse?
Me: Oh, ha. No, I'm not a nurse. I work at a high school.
G: Are you a teacher?
Me: No, I work at as a counselor.
G: What school do you work at?
I tell him where I work.
G: So, you must have to be at work soon.
Me: Yes, I should get going. See you next time.
[I run off.]

That was the short version of our conversation. He also told me about his days off, how he runs into people he knows while he's traveling and how they say "Hi, Guillermo!", how he gets Sundays and Mondays off, how he bikes in Tiburon and takes the ferry there, and how he used to date a teacher. That was a ton of information to share with some random sweaty girl at 8am. And, sometimes I'm too polite, and will stand around chatting, even though I am feeling gross and tired and need to go home to shower and go to work.

But, I have a new friend now. Maybe one day, if I hurt myself or pull a muscle or pass out from pushing myself too hard on a run, Guillermo will come and get me on his park truck and shuttle me to help.

Daylight Savings

I have been hating Daylight Savings Time. Never before had I felt such ire toward springing forward. But, this week, it has been screwing with my schedule and my mind and body.

After being proud of getting back with my more fit, less fat plan all last week and the week before, I was ready to keep the momentum going this week. I took a rest day Sunday but was pumped for Monday's run. I set the alarm for 5:30am and when it went off Monday morning, I was confused. Why was it so dark? Why was I so tired? Why was I so stupid to think that 5:30am was 6:30am when, in reality, it was 4:30am? I felt like such a tired idiot. Needless to say, I didn't get out of bed for a run. Instead, I tried to go back to sleep.

At work, I realized how stupid my mistake was and how, if each morning was going to be so dark and cold, perhaps I should shift my running schedule. Maybe I should run after work. I left work thinking, "Yes, I will run when I get home." But, as I was walking home, being hit with cold wind didn't bode well for my plan. And, I was still really tired. I got home and made dinner instead.

I set the alarm again for 5:30am Tuesday. It went off and I was still exhausted. I hadn't been sleeping well for the past few nights, most likely because I was forcing myself to sleep and wake up an hour before I usually do and my body was still adjusting. So, I reset the alarm and stayed in bed.

Today, though, was different. I slept well the night before and felt refreshed when I woke up. Sure, it was still dark when my alarm went off, but I could deal with dark. It was cold and I put on the gloves that Ken gave me for Christmas. The moon was low in the sky and gorgeous. It was full and bright and glowing and made me happy. I suppose that's a perk of being up so early--the moon is still out. I jogged along my usual workday route. On my second lap around, I saw the Asian man and his teen-aged son waiting for the school bus. The man was poking at something up in the tree with a branch. Things fell just as I was making my way past, saying good morning. He said something to me, which sounded like "shalom" but I knew it couldn't be. For whatever reason, I think they're Korean. I ran as fast as I felt comfortable down the hill of Laguna and back to the house. I could hear my breathing steady and strong, could feel the sweat beading on my face, and felt my legs kicking up and landing purposefully. I beat the cars stopped at the lights and stop signs. I'll do it all again tomorrow.

Fitness Buddy

I had been preparing all week for Saturday. Winnie asked if I wanted to run with her. I was nervous but agreed anyhow. We hadn't run together since November, when we left Billy behind and when Billy then left us behind. We thought running as a group would motivate us to run longer and faster, but it didn't. During that run along Alameda's waterfront, I had to stop because Billy made me laugh and it hurt to laugh and run at the same time.

This Saturday, though, was different. It was just me and Winnie, and we didn't talk and we didn't laugh. We just ran.

I printed out maps of the San Francisco Half Marathon routes, and decided that we would go from my house around Stow Lake at 19th Ave. in Golden Gate Park and back. Winnie met me at my place and asked if I was going to bring my iPod Shuffle. I wasn't planning on it since I thought it might be rude to be listening to my music as we were running together (What if she wanted to talk to me?), but since she had hers and since she said she couldn't talk and run at the same time, I brought mine too, which I was more than happy about.

We walked up to the Panhandle and started jogging. We crossed into the park and joined the tons of other runners out on the sunny morning. Winnie and I seemed to be keeping up at the same pace. We passed all the people walking and dodged the baby strollers. I was nervous running with her since she works out regularly and I thought I would have a hard time keeping up. She was nervous of running with me since she doesn't run more than 30 minutes at a time (the gym kicks folks off the treadmill after half an hour) and didn't think she could last. I kept looking over at her and she seemed to be moving along easily; I wondered when she would slow down or when she would want to stop.

We kept going until I saw a sign for 30th Ave. Whoa. That was eleven blocks more than we should have gone. Where was Stow Lake? How did we miss it? We turned around at 30th and headed back up towards my house. We walked for a little bit through the uneven dirt path covered with wood chips, staying to the left because a race was coming right at us (though we only passed a handful of runners). She told me that she kept thinking, "When is Susan going to stop?" I told her that I thought she was doing fine, to which she responded that I couldn't hear her breathing. So, we both were struggling a little but kept going because of the other one. Good peer pressure, I suppose.

It was getting really warm, so I took off my long-sleeved shirt and blew my nose on it. I tucked my bandanna that was covered with snot and sweat back into my bra. Winnie must have thought I was disgusting, but it was only snot and I was sweaty and gross already; I couldn't get any more gross.

We started jogging again, this time with me setting the pace and with Winnie saying that we couldn't stop. We came upon a hill and struggled to the top, where we stopped and laughed at how ridiculous we were. After that, we ran all the way back (though more slowly than before) to the Panhandle, totally proud of our first Winnie-Susan only run. We gave each other a high-five as the cars passed us on Stanyan.

On our walk back to my house, we talked about our our eating habits. Winnie said that she's also eating less meat and that every time she eats a salad, she refers to it as a Susan Lunch. It's so nice to have a fitness buddy who isn't crazy intense about being fit but who is still supportive and encouraging.

I also Google Mapped our route when I got home. The total distance from my house to 30th Ave. and back is about 8 miles. We ran about 6 of those. I'm hoping we can make this a regular habit.

Checked Out By Student

A student just asked me if I worked out. Huh? Why do you ask? I asked. She said my arm looked toned, as if I was someone who worked out. Apparently, I don't show my upper arms all that often or maybe I have somehow developed more pronounced arm muscles recently, since I've never had any student comment on the buffness of my arms before.

I told her that I'm training to run a half-marathon and that part of that process is to build stronger muscles, but that I don't really "work out." I picture people who work out as these big, bulky, all-they-think-about-is-their-muscles-and-how-to-make -them-even-more-freakishly-large meatheads. I'm not that sort of person.

Anyhow, that made my day.

Running Crazy

When I left the house this morning at a little before 6am, it wasn't raining. The clouds looked ominous but nothing too daunting. I thought that I would be lucky again and avoid the rain. But, nope. I was about ten minutes out when it started to get a little misty. Then, it got a little more misty and droplets starting hitting me in the face. The dark clouds that seemed to be on the other side of the sky just a little earlier were heading straight for me. I started getting wet but kept running. I felt like a crazy girl running in the rain at 6am. But, I saw another person running, a man with his dog, so I didn't feel too crazy knowing that someone else was out early and in the rain.

I think my body might be starting to fall apart too. My left elbow was making a noise as I was doing push-ups this morning. My knees have been squeaking for a while too. I've never been in real pain before, other than the time I sprained my ankle and didn't give myself enough time before I started running on it again. But, today, I felt a sharp pain in the joint where my left arm connects to the shoulder. I don't even know how I could have hurt something there. I lied on the floor for a few minutes, and the pain went away eventually.

Today's music choice, with the sound turned on low: Of Montreal.

At My Most Beautiful

After a few too-late nights with too many drinks and a few days of soggy weather disrupted my running routine, I got back into it this morning for a half-hour jog, just before it started to pour again. I was singing REM's "At My Most Beautiful" to myself as I made my way up to Japantown and back again. It popped up on my Pandora a few days ago and it stuck with me. I feel really sappy saying how much I like that song and how it breaks my hearts a little each time I hear it. How I wish someone would read bad poetry to me.

After battling the strong headwind on my way back home, I tried to find that REM album among my shoe boxes of CDs in my closet, but no luck. Instead, I put on something a little more upbeat, Pulp circa 1994. I sweated and danced in the living room to "Do You Remember the First Time." I pretended I was at Popscene.

Yoga Mat Disappointment

My yoga routine has been thrown off recently. I would usually do my exercises after I got home from work as a way to wind down and stretch out the kinks that developed after hours of sitting at a desk. But, often now, Scott has been home when I return. And, since I don't want my ass all up in his face as I'm doing Downward Facing Dog, I haven't been practicing my yoga stances.

But, today, the house was empty. I was excited to put my new yoga mat, which is in a calming "celery" color, to use. I unrolled the mat and got to work. Planks, lunges, Cobras, Warriors, and more. The mat worked okay until I got to the poses where I had to lie down. The mat was too short, or I was too tall. My toes stretched over the edge and my head was resting on the shag rug. This was not cool. Did I buy the wrong mat?

After finishing my routine, I checked the yoga mat packaging. It came in only one size: 68 inches. I am, at my shortest, 71 inches. How was this possible? I'm no freakish giant. How could the yoga mat company only make a one-size-fits-all mat and leave out everyone over 5'8"? If anyone under 5'8" needs a celery-colored yoga mat that is almost new, I've got one.